How to Start Thriving Again
“But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass.”
I've thought of writing an article on how to take a break from all this crazy.
It’s been more than a year since I’ve come to realize how messed up living in a pandemic can be like and I know for a fact that 2020 has been indescribable for some of us.
I wanted to share what I’ve been doing for the past year and I still do (and will probably still be doing this forever) to keep myself grounded, sane, and in serenity.
Everything in life is always a balancing act. You’re never going to be a fixed point on this line of life. That’s just the way it is. Everything in and around us is always moving so it’s helpful to remember that change can be a good thing.
It’s a chance for a do-over.
It’s an opportunity to start again or start somewhere.
Wherever you start, the important thing is that you’re stepping forward—not staying stuck or moving backward.
Here are 10 ways to start thriving again (from the inside out) that don’t involve spending so much or traveling because after all, you and I are still living in the midst of this pandemic.
Limit your social media browsing
Another step to safeguard your mental health is to watch what you're consuming. I'm intentional about going online and browsing my social media feeds. Be strictly selective of what you want to see. If you don't have time to filter your feed, the easiest thing is to simply stay out of it. Pop in only if you need to. Trust me, you won't miss it.
Find ways to laugh
Got kids? Play with them. And yes, pets do count, so if you have fur babies, allow a few moments of laughter during the day. Are memes your thing? Spend a few minutes browsing. I'd go for a quick walk by the beach, or if there are waves, I will go for a quick surf. Sometimes conditions don't cooperate. It could be too windy, or there's no swell (especially when it's going off-season), I'd love to curl up in a hammock with a book in hand or inside my mobile ebook reader.
Do one thing you love at least an hour daily
Sometimes the things we love allow us to smile or shed a tear. Whatever the reaction, doing something we love allows us to release like the release of negative emotions that could cast clouds over our seemingly sunny day. For me, this meant whatever gave me life and joy, it could be surfing or petting a beloved Aspin, or reading an interesting book or even spending a few minutes of deep belly breaths.
Find time to really rest
Real rest isn't just sleeping, but it surely helps to deactivate your work mode. Have a regular unplug session, or learn to make time off fun again. I created this Unplugged Workflow for myself, where I allow myself to binge-watch my favorite shows or read books from my favorite genre.
Begin acknowledging uncomfortable issues
Acknowledge that there is something that is making you uncomfortable. I go through this a lot and usually just let it slip under the rug. I didn't want to waste time and effort on something that is nothing. But I realized this is a temporary coping mechanism that doesn't solve anything. If anything, pretending that there is no discomfort only adds to the piles of bones that hide in our closets, and it's not healthy.
Start a healthy discussion in a safe space with people you trust
Talking about things help! Big or small, private or not, it's therapeutic to talk to someone you trust about your concerns. It helped me even out conflicting views on specific domestic issues my country was facing.
Without my friends, I don't know where I'd be able to have a healthy discussion on issues that matter and aren't often discussed because of their potential for divisiveness.
Unfollow people and accounts that stress you out
Trust me, you don't need the extra negativity, and I believe there's always a better way to write things.
You can write about your stand on a sensitive topic without offending people along the way. Sure, it's more effort to be nice, but it goes a long way.
When you write or speak nicely, people tend to listen to what you've got to say. I don't recall ever really listening to somebody when they're shouting at me, do you?
Turn off notifications on your phone
This may seem a little strange to most of you at first. It was for me back then. Our smartphones have enabled notifications by default, so sometimes, we don't go through the hassle of disabling these.
I urge you to keep your digital real estate sacred! Nobody needs to wake up to a dozen work emails or messages in the morning. Nor do you have to be compelled to instantly reply to everyone who messages you.
Having no notifications means that you'll be the master of your time and attention. You'll set designated hours to check your email and messages—when you're online, you're really on and working.
When you're offline, you really can shut down everything and be present in whatever you're doing after working hours.
Create sacred spaces
This doesn't have to be spiritual, but you could go that way if you want to. Sacred spaces are spaces of comfort, solitude, and safety. These may be tangible areas or things that I have control over, and I want to keep free from distractions online or offline. It can also be a space of respite, a place to recharge and regroup.
Do you live in the city? Do you have a small garden where you can sit for an hour each day and watch the clouds pass by? Or maybe you've only a window or a balcony to enjoy a bird's eye view of the city? Wherever you are, you can always designate a space of your own.
Here are some of my sacred spaces:
my iPhone—I tolerate no notifications whatsoever, even work! I know it's scary to miss out on something important, but I'm online and reachable through my laptop when I am working. I want the time on my phone to be of rest and recreation.
my laptop—the same as my iPhone, I'm crazy about having zero notifications when I'm working. When I find myself still distracted while writing, I will turn off my wifi until I complete the goal I set for myself.
My email inbox—I treat my inbox like a mailbox full of letters I want to open. I try to do my best to clean them out weekly. If I see anything that I don't like reading, it's an automatic unsubscribe.
My writing tool, Ulysses—this app has changed my writing life that I can never write without it. You know I hate distractions, especially when I'm writing. That's why I love Ulysses. Its zero-distraction, minimalist writing interface is what I've been looking for since 2016. I love dumping all my thoughts onto a page and hate to be distracted by typos, punctuation errors, and whatnot. Ulysses helps me find my focus and keep it while I write. I haven't even talked about integration, and its other features, but that's for another time.
My Morning Practice—This is exactly as it reads, my practice in the morning. If you’ve joined my journey on Instagram, you know I’m a sucker for morning pages. I live for this daily stream of consciousness writing which signals the start of my day. The Morning Practice is my daily ritual (or routine, if you want a more familiar term) that I allow myself the grace to practice every day.
What the Morning Practice does for me is boundary-setting. I carve out time to devote to my priority which is my practice of writing. My Morning Practice simply is a signal for me to get into the zone and setting a boundary both in time, space, and routine has been helpful for my well-being especially in a time such as corona.
Pre-pandemic, I’d be traveling constantly and so the struggle to maintain my boundaries and the discipline to do my practice is everpresent. I’ve learned a thing from my nomadic life and how you can still build your practice without having to stay in one place all the time.
I spend half of the year on our family’s farm up in the mountains somewhere in the heart of southwestern Mindanao. It’s landlocked so it does take a few hours drive to get to the ocean but the change of scenery and environment is a welcome thing for me. When the waves are off for the area where I frequently surf, this is a great respite to be in.
I’ve experienced living by the beach and even though I’d always find home and life by the beach. Wherever I find myself, I’d make it a point to designate a sacred space to hold my Morning Practice.
If I’m at my home in Dahican, I set up a chill spot, a little nook with a hammock where I can still see the sea and feel the breeze. It's perfect for a hot mid-afternoon, and most of the time, I end up taking a nap (rest is always a good thing).
If it’s the off-season and I’m up in the mountains on our farm, I have my own room (thanks, parents!) where I already have set up a writing desk that faces a little valley with a small stream which I can’t see anymore because of the undergrowth but I can hear when the chirping of the birds isn’t too overpowering (and I don’t mind at all).
Permission slip notice: Pre-pandemic, my sacred spaces were mostly digital. That's because these digital spaces or 'digital real estate' are where I spent most of my time and where I need 100% focus to do deep work. As of this writing, you and I are still living in the middle of this pandemic, my sacred spaces have shifted into something that felt aligned with me—reducing distractions so I opted to revert to less digital spaces.
This is your permission slip and reminder that your sacred space could be totally different. Again, it doesn't matter where or what your sacred space is as long as you can be undisturbed, able to find your balance and breathe.
Follow your flow
This point was initially called “Set a routine” but I’ve gone deep into my routines that I no longer call them a routine, I call them a practice. But I did start just by establishing a routine that fit my flow and felt very aligned to me.
How to know if it’s a fit and feels aligned? You don’t feel forced or rushed or feel like you should. It must always feel expansive and exciting, even if you’re resisting.
I always start my day bright and early 99% of the time. If you’ve read the point above, I have a Morning Practice. This whole 6-step practice simply started with me deciding to light a scented candle (I love Saan Saan’s Patchouli by the Temple) before I start writing my pages. It helps set the mood and my intention for the day.
I realized there’s a lot I would like to expand here from Morning Pages to my whole ever-evolving Morning Practice but one step at a time. Bookmark this page and visit it at a later time or join my community so I can personally connect with you inside a private group and also as a bonus, show up in your inbox to let you know I’ve added more goodness to this timeless post.
Below is a little extra boost to help you take the inspired action to follow your flow to thriving again. I hope all that’s been written and felt as you read the words in this blog post and in the caption Instagram post below will be as powerful for you as it was and still is for me.
It will only take a few minutes out of your time to read what I shared here and learn the most powerful word that can be just the shift you need to go from being stuck to stoked.
Love,
Ferina Xx